An Invitation to Connect

Memoir Selection for Book Clubs

Thank you for considering Everything Changes Everything as a selection for your book club. This is my most personal work to date and my hope is that you’ll find a variety of themes to inspire thoughtful discussion and deeper connections in your group.

Writers love and--obviously!--depend on readers. Book club readers are (honestly) the best.

If you would like to connect further, I am available to join your discussion—virtually or in person in select locations. Fill out Book Club Interest form below with requests.

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Discussion Guide

Discussing books over drinks is one of life’s great pleasures. If we were having coffee together, what would we chat about?

Here are some discussion starters for your next club meeting.

Writing structure & craft:

  1. In the author's note at the beginning of the book, she makes the case for this memoir being "reported" and fact-based. Most memoirs are memory-based. What did this distinction mean to you? 

  2. The book is presented as three braided narratives. Did you find that structure satisfying? Challenging?

Loss and grief:

  1. Everyone experiences loss at some point in their lives, and everyone has their own way of living through it. What do you think of the author's approach? How have you handled loss in your life?

  2. The author wanted to walk "without a backstory." She sought out an experience where she knew no one and no one knew her. But many people find solace doing just the opposite--joining grief support groups, undergoing therapy. What approach resonates with you? And why?

  3. Death with Dignity (also known as medical aid in dying) is controversial. After reading about Tom's death, what do you think about this way of dealing with terminal illness? Would you consider this for yourself?

  4. Do you think you "lose" someone when they die? Did the author "lose" her husband? Her daughter?

  5. That bat! Was it Tom?

What do you think?

  • What did you learn about addiction by reading Lizzie's story?

  • The author saw herself in Kiki. Have you had that experience with a friend as a mirror--for better or worse? Did that help you? What effect did it have on the relationship?

  • What weight do you carry in your "backpack"? What can you do, what have you done, to lighten the load?